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I had to take a closer look to see what they wanted to tell me. How could i possibly exist like this? Throughout the excavation of this dark night, i trusted that the deep longing of my soul held the rusty keys to this secret hiding place where i would find my inner radiance once again. While i ached for closeness with my self and others, i wanted to feel my full, open heart.

The touch of a womans hand has the power to heal and change lives. What was i cultivating?  I had not noticed them for a long time. Later when i could process the unfolding of events, i lovingly thanked god, for the experiences i did not want.

Something way bigger than me! My hardened, grieving heart became soft once again, like a whisper in the breeze when i heard my daughters voice speaking to me in the wind. So after 20 years of acrylic nails, and pedicures, off they came, and with that part of my prior identity and i received a freedom, much more than freedom of french manicured acrylic nails, but a true, i can do anything freedom. Those feelings of lightness, sweetness, and grace seemed like a past history of another life that i was no longer a part of.

As my journey took me to the bottom of the earth, digging through hardened layers of dark, black gravel, i began to find this tunnel of light. So many years of challenge, struggle and loss began to show their wear and tear, especially on my hands and the tips of my fingers. So began the journey of my heart into a deeper, more spacious, more luxurious place.

I wanted to feel again!  But most of all, i wanted to feel love again. On a budget, and re leased it for more than it ever rented for in 30 years. Like grace, the downpour of streaming tears broke every rusted chain inside my heart, one by one, link by link.

Like grist for the mill that was as tough as nails, i suddenly melted like smooth snow and transformed those rough, hardened edges into fluid, flowing water. Sweet, abundant, beautiful life! Welcome to my world of mystery & enchantment. God was the carpenter, and i wasam his mate. Surely there must be a message here, on the tips of my fingers and palms of my hands. I felt the touch of a womans hand, as i held my own hand with loving kindness, gratitude and appreciation.

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Even our own lives! Everything you wrote so eloquently is me. Those feelings of lightness, sweetness, and grace seemed like a past history of another life that i was no longer a part of. I noticed that the years of tapping on my computer keyboard, writing volumes of sorrow and grief  in my book were somehow indented on the tips of my fingers.

With one worker (from guatemala) me, my suv (already had traded the sc 300 lexus) & trips to home depot i rehabbed the rental apt. I had to trust that no matter what was happening in my life, and no matter how it looked right now, something amazing, huge, and incredible was going to come out of this. As i rose up, for the first time in years, i stood tall and proud and felt the power and the presence of this magnificent woman inside of me.

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Later when i could process the unfolding of events, i lovingly thanked god, for the experiences i did not want. So after 20 years of acrylic nails, and pedicures, off they came, and with that part of my prior identity and i received a freedom, much more than freedom of french manicured acrylic nails, but a true, i can do anything freedom. Surely there must be a message here, on the tips of my fingers and palms of my hands.

One step at a time, one day at at time, one moment at a time, one breath at a time, every day. I felt the touch of a womans hand, as i held my own hand with loving kindness, gratitude and appreciation. As my journey took me to the bottom of the earth, digging through hardened layers of dark, black gravel, i began to find this tunnel of light. I knew all i had to do was trust. After inheriting my fathers house duplex in coral gables.

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